Speechless
by IGotLost
Summary: As I stand here staring up  at the sky, I begin to wonder how long it's been since he's been gone. Its raining today, I love the rain. It reminds me of him, and it makes it so you can't see the silent tears that fall down my cheeks...
1. Chapter 1

As I stand here staring up at the sky, I begin to wonder how long it's been since he's been gone. Its raining today, I love the rain. It reminds me of him, and it makes it so you can't see the silent tears that fall down my cheeks...

Oh yeah I might want to introduce myself. My name is Grimmjow Jaegerjauqes, and this is the story of how I fell in love, and how my heart was smashed into pieces.

Well then let's go from the beginning...

Grimmjow's POV

Karakura. That's the name of the town I moved to today, supposedly it's pretty nice where I'm going to be living. I'll be attending Karakura High, from what I've heard from my buddy Ulquiorra it's a decent school.

I'm actually waiting for him to meet up with me so he can give me a tour, (just our excuse to use for my mother so she doesn't worry as much) Well either way he told me to wait in front of the clinic that's next door to my place 'Kurosaki Clinic' I just stared at the sign. I was so spaced out I didn't notice Ulquiorra walk up behind me, he placed his hand on my shoulder, I jumped and turned around.

"Don't do that asshole!" I shouted.

"Maybe you shouldn't space out like that in the middle of the sidewalk" He replied, I swear I saw a small smile on his emotionless face but I guess I was just imagining things.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come with me?" he stated, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Ya, ya, I'm comin'"

As I turned to follow Ulquiorra, I saw a flash of orange. It was only for a moment but I'm sure it was there, but when I turned to see what the orange thing was but nothing was there. I decided to give up and turned again to follow Ulquiorra. I looked up at the sky finally noticing it was pretty nice weather today.

Ichigo's POV

_'God it's hot today'_, was all that ran through my head as I was walking back home, staring at all the little nothings I spot along the way. As I look down the street to where my house is I notice that Ulquiorra guy, he's with some tall dude, I swear if it wasn't so hot out today I probably wouldn't have thought his hair was blue, but it looks blue from here. Whatever. And so I continued my quick pace and flashed past the two boys and into the clinic run by my family, 'Kurosaki Clinic'.

"Welcome back, Ichi-nii."

"I'm home, Karin. How was soccer practice?"

"It was alright, Jinta let another goal slip though."

"Is that right? Well at least we know next time you'll teach him a lesson he won't soon forget."

"Got that right!"

"Oh yeah, where's Yuzu?"

"Oh, she went to get ingredients for dinner we're inviting the new neighbors over for a barbeque to welcome them."

"Ah, I see. Well if you need anything from me I'll be in my room."

"Gotcha."

I began to walk up the stairs wondering what the new neighbors would be like.

_'I wonder if that guy I saw earlier was one of the new neighbors'_

I plopped down on my extremely comfortable bed and stared at the ceiling thinking about today. I got into another fight with one of the neighborhood gangs about my hair color, I don't get why people can't just leave me alone. My hair is naturally bright orange I can't help it, and I'm not gonna dye it black just to fit in.

"Hah... I should probably do that homework, or Yoruichi-sensei will bitch at me again."

getting up from my bed and picking up the bag I discarded near the door on my way in I made my way over to the desk and plopped down, I decided to turn on some music to listen to while I do this stupid homework. **Monster **by **Meg & Dia**, one of Karin's favorite songs. She got me into loving it. Unzipping my school bag and pulling textbooks and papers out I begin the torture that is Biology homework.

_His little whispers, love me, love me._

_That's all I ask for, love me, love me._

Somehow I always find myself singing along to this song, for some reason the lyrics just grasp at my heart.

_He battered his tiny fists to feel something._

_Wondered what its like to touch, and feel something._

It always reminds me of the pain that I've endured.

_Monster._

_How should I feel?_

_Creatures lie here._

_Looking through the window._

My hand stops moving to write on my paper, I look up to the ceiling once more.

_That night he caged her, bruised and broke her._

_He struggled closer. Then he stole her._

_Violet wrists and then her ankles, Silent pain._

_Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams._

I can feel my silent tears running down my cheeks as I remember what happened back then.

_Monster._

_How should I feel?_

_Creatures lie here._

_Looking through the window._

I close my eyes and memories flood my mind.

_Silent._

_Hear the voices._

_I'm a glass child._

_I am Hanna's regrets._

Rain, rain and darkness. Thunder crashes through the silence, and this is where I fell apart.

_Monster._

_How should I feel?_

_Turn the sheets down._

_Murder ears with pillow lace._

_There's bathtubs, full of glow flies._

_Bathe in kerosine._

_Their words tattooed in his veins._

_Yeah!_

As the song ended I opened my eyes and leaned forward, wiping away the tears I stood up to go change out of my uniform I forgot I was still wearing. Deciding to put off my homework until later and maybe take a nap, I changed into gray sweatpants and a white wife beater. Pulling the blue and white covers on my bed back I layed down and passed out.

Grimmjow's POV

So this whole tour of the neighborhood was pretty boring, considering too many chicks kept hitting on me. I'm just not interested in chicks cause I'm about as straight as a rainbow, so I left like halfway through saying I'd just head home and get some rest, but what I never thought I'd see when I looked my window was the person who I assumed to be that orange flash from earlier. He was sitting at his desk writing, he stopped suddenly and look at the roof of his room. Not long after that I saw tears rolling down his white cheeks. I can say this now he is damn sexy, when he opened those honey brown eyes I felt my heart skip a beat. They held so much more emotion than anyone could ever express in words. It was beautiful.

He stood up and walked over to a closet and started to take off what looks like a school uniform, grey dress pants and a short sleeved dress shirt. When he took off his shirt I couldn't help but notice two giant scars, one in the middle of his back, and one on his shoulder. If I looked a tiny bit harder there were quite a few more littering his lithe body, he started to turn around so I decided to move away from the window so he wouldn't notice me. Although that is a little hard for me to manage because I have bright blue hair, I bet he has a hard time with that too.

When I looked back he was going to lay in his bed, he didn't bother to put the covers over himself. Not long after he had fallen asleep, a young girl with shoulder length black hair came in and walked over to his bed. She looked at him for a moment whispering something, then she covered him with his blankets and left. _'I wonder what it is she said to him' _I pondered it for a moment but soon gave up, because I had a growing problem in my pants. Caused by my new obsession.

**Well I hope you enjoyed this so far I was really bored and ideas kept popping into my head, I think I'll start on chapter 2 as soon as I can.**

**Oh yeah the song Monster by Meg & Dia, is an awesome song and I think it fit pretty well. **

**I will be telling about what made Ichigo cry.**

Review?


	2. Chapter 2

Grimmjow's POV

The day I moved to Karakura, I fell in love. In love with a boy who's name I didn't even know, well actually I only know his last name because he lives in the clinic I saw earlier.

"Hah... I don't get this at all, now I'm curious about what made him cry."

Shaking my head and running a hand through my hair, I walked out of my room and down the stairs and into the kitchen, where my sister Neliel just happened to be sitting at the table reading some American fashion magazine, I caught a glance at the article she was reading, 'The Secret to Japanese weight loss'. Wow they really write some stupid stuff in American magazines.

We just moved here today and it already looks like we've lived here for a while because my parents/Nel unpacked pretty much everything, and arranged it while I was out on my 'Grand Tour' of the neighborhood. At least I was able to see where I would be going to school.

I grabbed a bag of roast chicken flavored chips and headed back upstairs, when I got to my there

it finally hit me. That kid I saw earlier through the window and Ulquiorra were wearing the same uniform. The uniform for the school I'm going to be attending starting tomorrow. Karakura High.

"Well shit, I never woulda guessed we'd be in the same school."

I plopped down on my bed and looked through my window again to see how the kid was doing, he looked like he was having a horrible nightmare. He was sweating and his eyes were screwed shut with small tears sliding down his face, his breathing was labored. But as he opened his mouth to make a sound, a young girl with light brown shoulder length hair walked in and woke him. He sat up gazing upon the small girl with half lidded but love and care filled eyes, he stood and walked over to the young girl and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

_I can't take my eyes off him._

I watched as the young girl -probably his sister-said something nodded and left and he closed the door behind her, he lifted his muscled arms above his head and clasped his hands together. He's cracking his back, I know 'cause I do the same thing. He dropped his arms and walked over to the closet, pulled out some black skinny jeans and a t-shirt and walked out of view of the window. At the loss of sight of him I snapped back into reality and walked over to my bed and sat down, I stared at the numerous boxes in the corner of the bedroom and thought about unpacking.

"Nah, I'll do it later." I decided, and flopped down onto the only thing other than boxes that was in my room.

I opened my bag of chips and started devouring them, and just as I had finished someone had come upstairs and was knocking on my door.

"Yeah?" I shouted.

"Get dressed honey, the neighbors invited us over to welcome us to the neighborhood." my mother replied.

"Okay." I shouted back.

'Wow, I'm being super polite today.' I thought as I got up and walked over to the box that was labeled 'Grimmjow's clothes' and opened it. After rummaging around for a bit I pulled put some ripped blue jeans and an Iron Maiden shirt -fuck, do I ever love that band- and threw them on, then I began my venture down the stairs and to where everyone was waiting for me. I pulled on my orange converse, with that we headed out the door.

Ichigo's POV

_'Please don't leave us again.' Karin whispered softly to her sleeping brother._

I woke to my door being opened very slowly by a worried little girl named Yuzu.

"Are you okay Onii-chan?" she asked quietly, "I heard you rustling around and thought you might be having a bad dream."

I stood up and walked over to her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I'm fine Yuzu, don't worry."

"Okay. Oh we're welcoming the neighbors today so you might want to change out of your pajamas." she said holding back her giggles.

"I will."

She nodded and left and I closed the door behind her. I lifted my arms above my head and cracked my back, that always feel so good after sleeping. I walked over to my closet and pulled put a pair of black skinny jeans and a t-shirt, _'I kinda feel like I'm being watched.'_ and that feeling never meant anything good with me so I walked over to the end of my bed where only from the most uncomfortable angle would anyone be able to see me, and changed my clothes.

I put on one of my favorite shirts, my friend that lives in America sent it to me as a birthday present, he got it at the concert he went to. Iron Maiden, it has to be one of the greatest English bands I've ever heard. Close to where I changed I have another small dresser, used for accessory type things. I opened the second drawer and pulled out a couple of wristbands, one of then totally checkered, the other with eight big squares with with skulls and crosses on them.

I stopped for a moment before putting them on and stared down at my scarred wrists, but quickly looked away as to not remember too much at this moment. I pulled the wristbands on and went downstairs to help set up for the barbeque, putting on my teal converse on my way outside.

Outside Karin and Goat-face were setting up a picnic table and Yuzu was carrying food out to the barbeque, out of nowhere Goat-face's foot was flying towards my face. I side-stepped out of the way and planted my fist into his gut.

"You've learned well, my son..." was all he said, before he collapsed onto the ground in pain.

"Why can't you go one goddamn day without trying to attack me!" I shouted, while walking towards the barbeque.

"Ichi-nii, don't forget that Shinji, Renji, Rukia, and Shuuhei are coming too." Karin shouted to me.

"Don't worry Karin, I didn't forget." I replied, "They should be here soon actually."

_Ding Dong_

"Speak of the devil." I said as I went around the side of the house, "Come through this way guys, we're just setting up now."

"Ah, Ichigo~❣" Shinji squeaked, as he leaped at me tackling me to the ground in a body crushing bear hug.

Ahh yes, Shinji. He's what you would call a 'Flaming Gay'. I kid you not. What he's wearing almost says it all anyways, he's wearing a bright pink shirt, purple jeans and rainbow shoes. Yes, rainbow shoes. He also has shoulder length blonde hair, and a brilliantly toothy grin.

"Shinji, come on man. You're probably killing the poor guy." Renji whined.

"Oh no. Ichi, I'm sooo sorry!" Shinji cried, releasing me.

"It's cool Shin." I assured, "Hey there Renji, Rukia, Shuuhei."

Yeah I almost didn't notice Rukia behind Renji, reveling in the marvelous thing called 'boy love'. Although it can't really be called 'boy love', because I'm straight. Just got nothing against people being gay.

"Ahh, Ichigo. You really should invite us over more often, we're lonely without you." Rukia stated, placing a hand on one of her slender hips, and jutting it out to the side lightly.

"Yeah, yeah Rukia. I'll invite you guys over more when you stop being so odd." I retorted.

"Oh, hun. You know that could never happen, and you love us the way we are. You just can't help it." Shinji cut in.

"Yeah! What he said, you can't help but love us the way we are." Rukia shouted.

"Okay, I love you guys the way you are. Now come help set up." I said in a monotone voice and began walking away. Oh, yeah. In case you're wondering Shuuhei doesn't really talk much.

And thus we began our quest to set up the back yard.

_Somewhere around 10 minutes later..._

_Ding Dong Ding Dong_

Yuzu sprang up and ran to the door. I could barely hear their voices as Yuzu opened the door.

"Ah, welcome. Please, come with me to the back. Everything's already set up."

"Well, thank you sweetie."

Yuzu giggled.

Soft padded footsteps could be heard coming down the hall towards the back door and then came 5 people, 4 of which I didn't know but the hair on on all of their heads were too brightly colored to miss. My father walked over and calmly _'yeah I know right.'_ greeted of them.

"Hi, welcome to the neighborhood. My name is Isshin Kurosaki, I run the local clinic as you can see."

"Why thank you. My name is Deidrich Jeagerjaques."

Finally a name that brought a strange feeling to my gut was said very loudly.

"And this is my son Grimmjow."

"Ahh yes, what a fine looking young man." Isshin proclaimed, "You look to be about the same age as my darling son."

"I'm 16, I guess we might be the same age but I dunno."

"Whaddaya know, you two are the same age!"

I looked a little closer at this Grimmjow character and ventured forward knowing that I would have to go over to them anyway because I heard my dad say _'Darling son'_.

"Ah look here he comes now." Isshin stated.

Normal POV

Grimmjow stared openly at the orangette as he calmly strode over to the group of people.

"This is my son Ichigo." Isshin proclaimed, latching his arm onto Ichigo's shoulder, Ichigo grabbed Isshin's wrist and pulled his father over his shoulder onto the ground and stomped on his head, making him eat dirt.

That sight not only shocked Grimmjow but his father as well.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, pleasure to meet you Mr. Jeagerjaques." Ichigo said calmly as he outstretched his hand.

The older man gripped the young man's hand in a firm grip, "Oh no, the pleasure is all mine. And that was quit the impressive technique you used there." Deidrich replied, "Might I be so bold as to ask you what high school you are attending?"

"Karakura High."

"Great, my son will be attending the same school as you then."

Ichigo turned to look at the younger male, and noticed that the bluenette's eyes were glued to him. Ichigo gave him a once over and noticed the shirt. "AH!" Ichigo shouted pointing at Grimmjow's shirt. It was also then that Grimmjow noticed Ichigo's shirt and repeated the action, as they stood there staring at one another Shinji walked up to them and stated, "Well I can see you two're gonna along, my sweet little Ichi loves Iron Maiden!~"

"Lovely," Grimmjow's mother said excitedly, "our little Grimmy loves them too!"

The two just continued to stand there gaping like fish until Ichigo decided to talk,

"Number of the Beast."

Grimmjow grinned, "Killers."

It was the Ichigo's turn to grin, the two slapped their hands together and bro-hugged.

**Omg I'm so sorry I didn't update sooner, stupid writer's block well I hope you enjoy this chapter I really hope that I can update again soon.**

Review?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry guys I had to re-do a part of this chapter, change it a little. It'll make more sense when I post Chapter 4 as to why I changed it.**

**Enjoy~**

Grimmjow's POV

I'm liking this kid more and more by the second, first I find out he's practically obsessed with the same band that I am, but his group of friends kinda reminds me of my own. Yea my dad likes to butt into this I already knew he and I would be goin to the same school, it was pretty fucking obvious by the uniform I saw him wearing earlier and the one that was already in my room for me to wear 'TOMORROW'.

Seriously they're making me go to school the day after I mover here how fucking stupid is that?

Ichigo, I found out was his name. Fruity...It suited him... We had a short conversation before he said he had to go back over to the barbeque to make sure the meat wasn't dieing, yes because it can die. His very gay friend... Shinji I think his name was, was giving me some really strange looks while some dude who looked like a giant red pineapple was standing next to him whispering. I decided it would probably be more interesting if I watched the berry cook. I raked my eyes over his beautiful body, making me think back to when I saw those scars on him. _'I wonder where he got them from..'_

"Food is ready mortals!" a short girl with raven black hair shouted from Ichigo's side, when had she gone over there?

Normal POV

Renji and Shinji were standing by the picnic table staring at Grimmjow, Renji leaned over to Shinji and whispered, "I wonder how many times that dude's eye raped Ichi."

Shinji giggled and replied, "I'm pretty sure somewhere around 15 times, but that's just from what I've counted."

"Guess that sounds about right."

Rukia had somehow made her way over to Ichigo at the barbeque without anyone noticing, and watched as Ichigo was putting dozens of burgers and hotdogs onto giant serving plates and decided it would be a good idea to shout, "Food is ready mortals!"

It made her giggle slightly when people looked over at her with looks of 'when the fuck did she get over there?'

She snapped out of her giggle fit when she noticed everyone flooding towards the picnic table and went on her merry way after them.

"Wow Rukia, was it really necessary to shout in my ear like that?" Ichigo questioned as he placed the plate of meats onto the table next to the buns.

"Of course Ichi!~3" she squealed.

"Midget."

"Strawberry."

An angry tick mark appeared on both of the teenagers forehead as they hissed at each other from across the table, you could almost see the lightning between them. It was then that Renji snaked an arm around the raven haired girl's shoulders and whispered something in her ear that make her calm down considerably, Shinji attempted the same thing with Ichigo but he whispered into his ear just made him make a face that said 'wtf is wrong with you dude'.

(if you're wondering what Shinji said to Ichigo it was 'I'm gonna call you sugar maple tree, cause I would totally tap that'.)

Everyone else totally ignored in the situation the evening went on like that, nice and eventful. It also ended in Shinji begging to sleep over and Ichigo's dad saying yes.

It was also somewhere around midnight when everyone excluding Shinji left, Ichigo never even noticed Grimmjow eye raping him the whole night.

It just made Shinji giggle at how oblivious his best friend was... is.

_Later that night.._

Somehow Shinji knew he was gonna be sleeping over, because he already had a bag with clothes and things that he would need to torment the poor strawberry that night. Ichigo who was currently laying on the couch with a very small feline creature named Shiro, seemed to be very much enjoying the kitten's company. Shinji was sitting on the floor watching the two with a very content look on his face, he had gotten the cat for Ichigo for his 16th birthday that just recently passed. His birthday was on the 15th and it was now the 28th of July.

Shinji's POV

As I continued to stare at Ichigo I began to remember when we met, I was eight years old. He had something terrible happen to him when we were that young and he was in the hospital for a while, back then no matter how many times I would ask him what was wrong he would never tell me he would sort of just invert himself and avoid my gaze. Eventually I found out what had happened but I never believed I got the full story, it just sorta felt like he wouldn't tell me a very important part.

I was brought from my thoughts when I realized Ichigo wasn't on the couch anymore, in fact I couldn't really see him anywhere.

"Ichi?" I called out but received no reply. As I began to look for him I noticed his bright orange hair outside on the patio.

"Sup, Ichi?" I asked quietly, he turned to face me with a light smile on his face.

"I just realized that the stars were really pretty tonight. I didn't notice earlier because there were so many distractions." he replied solemnly, gazing back up at tha' night sky. With one of the most peaceful expressions I've seen on his face in what felt like forever.

"Yeah." I replied glancing up at the sky, it reminded me of when he and I would lay in his back yard and sing. We would just relax and let out our feelings through the song.

"Ichi.."

"Yeah?"

"Wanna sing for me?"

He turned and looked at me, and then smiled.

"Sure, but only for you."

With that having been said we walked off the patio and onto the grass, I sat down on the lush carpet that nature provided. And he continued to stand.

"What song?" he asked looking down at me.

"Hello/How are you?" I replied.

"Okay, but you'll have to do the little parts in it."

I nodded, and we began.

_**(Hello.)**_

_**I opened my window and whispered.**_

_**(How are you?)**_

_**Alone in my room, with no one.**_

_**(Morning.)**_

_**The morning has arrived, with a heavy downpour.**_

_**(Tick-tock.)**_

_**Someone please rewind my spring for me.**_

_**La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.**_

_**(Hello.)**_

_**I think that kind of person appeared only in old anime.**_

_**(How are you?)**_

_**I am so jealous, that someone can be loved by all.**_

_**(Sleeping...)**_

_**I must stop saying silly things and start preparing.**_

_**(Crying...)**_

_**In order to hide my tear marks.**_

Neither of us at this time noticed the people staring at us out their windows, with the most pleasant smiles on their faces. One in particular, probably more solemn than the others.

_**"Oh well whatever" has become my favorite phrase.**_

_**That line from yesterday went straight over my head:**_

_**"I don't have any expectations of you anymore."**_

_**Well, even I myself**_

_**don't have any expectations of myself,**_

_**but still, what was THAT for?**_

_**The words that escaped from my throat**_

_**were nothing but lies.**_

_**Today, too, I have wasted some valuable words,**_

_**as I continue living my life.**_

_**Why is it that you end up hiding it?**_

_**Is it that you're scared of being laughed at?**_

_**Is it that you don't want to meet anyone?**_

_**Is that really true?**_

_**Drowning in a sea of the name "ambiguity",**_

_**I'm suffering because I can no longer breathe.**_

_**I now have a small urge to listen to someone's voice.**_

_**I am so weak.**_

_**With my preparation going nowhere at all,**_

_**I start thinking with my hazy head:**_

_**"Should I just find a reason so that I can rest now?"**_

_**Nah, I know, I know,**_

_**I'm just saying things, that's all,**_

_**but I'm not going to rest, so don't get angry at me.**_

_**Be I happy or miserable,**_

_**the morning sun will rise fairly and cruelly.**_

_**I'm already trying my best just to live,**_

_**what else do you possibly expect of me?**_

_**Why do you end up being bothered by this?**_

_**Is it that you actually want to be loved?**_

_**Who was it that let go of your hand?**_

_**Have you come to a realization?**_

_**If my life has a time card,**_

_**then exactly when do I get off my "work"?**_

_**Who will pay me my salary**_

_**for having been living all this time?**_

_**(Thank you.)**_

_**I actually want to say "thank you".**_

_**(Thank you.)**_

_**I actually want to say "thank you".**_

_**(Thank you.)**_

_**Even if just for once,**_

_**while I lament from the bottom of my heart,**_

_**I actually want to say "thank you".**_

_**Why is it that you end up hiding it?**_

_**Is that you actually want me to ask you about it?**_

_**I promise that I will not laugh,**_

_**so why don't you trying tell me?**_

_**I won't know anything if you don't open your mouth.**_

_**You won't convey anything by merely thinking in your head.**_

_**What a troublesome species of organism,**_

_**the one called "human", that is.**_

_**Hello/How are you?**_

_**Hello/How are you?**_

_**Hello/How are you?**_

_**To you, I say "Hello/How are you?**_

Applause erupted from the neighboring houses, and Ichigo's eyes shot open, a blush bright enough for his namesake spreading across his adorable face. I watched as he looked around, him slightly freaking out as clapping and whistles resounded around us.

"Beautiful as always, Ichi."

He just glared at me lightly before running inside, mumbling something along the lines of 'You did that on purpose.'

I just chuckled lightly as I followed him inside. I followed him into his room and sat down next to him on his bed. He turned around and opened his window a little then turned back to me, giving me a death glare that could kill even the most seasoned Yakuza.

"Wh-what's wrong Ichi?" I asked nervously, trying my best to plaster a grin on my face.

"WHAT'S WRONG?" he started, "YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE, DIDN'T YOU?"

"I din't I swear Ichi. I's jus been forever since I heard yer singing, I really jus wanted ta hear ya again."

"Swear?"

"Swear."

Right after saying that I tackled him and straddled his waist, holding his shoulders down so he couldn't just push me off.

"Shin, what are you doing?"

"Sittin on ya a'course."

"Why?"

"Cause yer sexy."

"What kind of reasoning is that?"

I looked to the side and out the window, and I noticed Grimmjow was there. His window wide open and him in the middle of the room staring at his wall or something, I know that he's got tha hots fer Ichigo so I decided to make life a little more difficult for him.

"Ne~ Ichi." I said seductively leaning closer to his face.

"What?" he replied his scowl not wavering one bit.

And that was when I made up my mind to have a little fun with him.

"TICKLES!~~" I shouted, tackled him down onto the bed. Making sure to hit all the areas that would turn Ichigo on, he was laughing like crazy shouting for me to stop, but all that just made me want to continue my ministrations. I lifted his shirt, and began to tickle his now exposed and scarred flesh. I chanced a side glance out the window, and noticed Grimmjow now staring with a light blush spreading across his face. It made me want to make it just a little harder for him. I am after all, a major sadist. I leaned forward and latched my mouth onto Ichigo's now pert nipple, he was pretty turned on at this point so I don't think he minded all that much.

I thought wrong. He pushed me right off of him and right off the bed. He was panting lightly, his face as red as his namesake.

"SHIJI!"

**Bwahahaha finally finished with chapter 3, I'll be trying to update as soon as possible with all my stories from now on but I can't make any promises. Oh how you all know how terrible writers block is... well anyways, hope you enjoyed it.**

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

Ichigo's POV

"SHINJI!" I shouted, reaching up and holding my arms against my chest.

He just put his mouth on my nipple. HE just put HIS MOUTH on MY NIPPLE! And HE LICKED IT! I'm sure my face was brighter than a tomato right now, and to hide my shame because of what just happened I flew under the covers and hid. I'm such a child...

"Ichi..." Shinji started.

"I don't want to hear it Shin, that was really embarrassing."

He jumped up onto the bed and sat on me over my blanket, patting my head I knew that things had become serious again. I pulled the covers away from my face, and he stared down at me a stern look adorning his features.

I know that I'm childish but he should know not to do that to me, he's the only other person that knows how I got the scars I have other than my family.

"You know not to do that man." I whispered.

"I'm sorry Ichi, I couldn't help myself."

"I won't forgive you next time you know." I said as I attempted to sit up, and get off my bed.

But I was cut off by the fact that Shinji had just sat on my legs.

"Show them to me." he said suddenly.

My eyes widened slightly, he slid off of me and back onto the floor, only this time he wasn't sitting on his ass. I flung my legs over the side of the bed, and stood beginning to take my shirt off. Once it was off of me, Shinji walked over to me and placed a hand on my chest.

"I still remember when we first met." he whispered.

"I do too, not really the best way to meet a person. But, I'm glad it was you I saw when I woke up and not... that man."

Just thinking about what he did to me made my blood boil, but it also made me want to break down and cry my eyes out. Until I couldn't feel anything anymore.

**Normal POV**

They stood like that for a moment, until Shinji slowly pulled his hand off of Ichigo's chest and leaned his head onto his shoulder.

"Why won't you tell me everything that happened, Ichi? Can't you trust me with that?" Shinji asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Shin... I..."

"I can understand that what happened changed everything for you, but we've best friends ever since you woke up in the hospital that day." he paused for a moment, "I can't stand to see you like this Ichi. I want to see you smile from the bottom of your heart."

"Shin.. I. I'll tell you."

"What?" Shinji breathed, pulling his head up from Ichigo's chest.

"I was planning on telling you soon anyways, I can just tell you now. It doesn't make much of a difference if I tell you now, or tomorrow."

"Will you really tell me everything?"

Ichigo cast his eyes downward, "Yeah."

He led Shinji to sit on his bed and sat next to him, he then began the tale of his childhood.

_**(Flashback)**_

_A five year old Ichigo was walking down the street hand in hand with his loving mother Misaki, they were just coming back from shopping for school clothes. Tomorrow was Ichigo's first day of kindergarten, and Misaki wanted him to look his best for the big day. When suddenly it started to rain, not just light rain. Very, very heavy rain began to fall on the two. Misaki pulled her young son closer to herself as she began to speed off towards their home, but as they were running Ichigo slipped in a large puddle and fell behind. _

_When Misaki turned around what greeted her eyes was not something she expected. There holding her little boy, was a tall hooded man, holding a knife to the struggling five year old's throat. She rushed at the man, screaming for him to release her little boy, not knowing that there was more than one man there. She wasn't even two feet away when the other man grabbed her from behind and held a gun to her head._

"_Be good, and we won't hurt your son." the man whispered in her ear. _

_She nodded, and held her hands up to show that she wouldn't do anything. The man pushed her down onto the ground, and proceeded to rape her._

_The young Ichigo stared in horror, as his mother was violated by some crazed man. He began to call out for his mother, but never got an answer from her. Only from the man holding him, shouting for him to shut up._

_When the man was finished violating the young mother, he pointed the gun at her chest and pulled the trigger. Cackling as her blood splattered all over himself and the small boy, he stood from the body and walked over to the other man. Kneeling down to look the child in the face, what he saw was not what he was expecting. Instead of a fear stricken expression, he was greeted with and anger filled one. Gold on black inverted eyes stared at him, the small boy reached up and grabbed his captors hand. With one squeeze the bone in the man's hand had all broken, and the man had pulled himself away from the child, dropping his knife in the process. Ichigo bent down and picked up the knife, he stared at it for a moment before glancing at the man whom had murdered his dear mother. _

_Clutching the knife in his small hand he lunged at the man, stabbing him right in the stomach. He fell to the ground grasping his gut in an attempt to stop the bleeding. But his effort was all for naught. The young child walked over and grabbed the man by his hair, pulling the man's head up he held the knife to the man's throat and whispered._

"_Good night."_

_His voice was watery and distorted, it caused the man to feel a fear he had never had the pleasure of feeling, and would never feel again. Ichigo sliced the man's throat and let go of his hair, he turned to the other man._

"_I suggest you run now unless you want to die too."_

_The other man did just that. He ran, he ran and never looked back._

_Ichigo dropped the knife and rushed over to his mother's side, immediately crying for his mother to answer him. One of the people living in the neighborhood had apparently heard the gun shot and called the police, seeing as they arrived quite quickly to the scene. One of the officers began to ask the distraught boy what had happened, and he replied._

"_That man shot my mommy!" he started, "So I took the other man's knife and killed him back!"_

_The officer stared at the young boy, wondering how such a small child could figure out the concept of death, and not just think that his mother was sleeping._

_Ichigo's head hung low as he talked to the officer._

"_I'm not a moron." Ichigo said in the watery voice. "I'm not stupid enough to think that my mommy was just sleeping when her blood splattered all over me."_

_The officer was shocked beyond words, he then slowly backed away from the child. Whom after a moment looked up at him with tears in his eyes. The officer couldn't help but be terrified of this child and feel bad for him at the same time. He replaced himself in front of Ichigo and knelt down. Ichigo's head fell onto the man's shoulder and he began to bawl his eyes out._

_Not too long after, Ichigo was asleep. His father had arrived in a panic, and went from crying over his deceased wife to freaking out as to where his little boy was. The officer that Ichigo had fallen asleep on, brought the young boy to his father, placing him into his arms gently. The police gave Isshin and Ichigo a ride home after asking Isshin questions about whether or not his wife would have anyone that would ever be after her life._

_When they arrived home, Isshin gently brought Ichigo up to his room and placed him under the covers of his bed. Isshin didn't notice when he left the room that Ichigo was awake, and once the door was closed he began to sob and cry. **'I couldn't save my mommy.'** that thought ran through his head as he lay there silently crying. He would never forgive himself._

_1 week later..._

_A funeral was being held for Masaki Kurosaki, all of her's and Isshin's family was in attendance. Which included her only brother, Aizen Sosuke. He was staying at Isshin's house for a couple of day's after Masaki's funeral. Isshin insisted on him staying with them, as they got along quite well when he started to date Masaki back when they were teenagers._

_Once the funeral was over they all began to head back to the Kurosaki residence. That was when Ichigo noticed someone's heated glare on him, he looked back only to see his uncle Aizen staring at him. He didn't like how his uncle was looking at him so he turned away, too afraid to look back again. That if he did, it wouldn't be his uncle looking back at him. But something else, something he didn't ever want to see. A monster in human form._

_Ichigo was very uneasy with his uncle staying with them, he tried to avoid being around him as much as he possibly could. But, for some strange reason he was every where he went. It was starting to really scare him. Like he couldn't go anywhere his uncle couldn't get to him, and watch him like a tiger stalking its prey. Ichigo didn't much like the idea of being Aizen's prey. So he did what he did best. He ran away and sat by the river next to the road where it all happened._

_He couldn't help but feel like it was all his fault, like he could have saved her but didn't. Ichigo's eyes soon began to water, with thoughts of his loving mother swimming through his memories. He rubbed the tears away with his sleeve and stood back up, when he turned around. There standing right in front of him, was the man he was trying to avoid. Aizen Sosuke. Ichigo tried to back away, but it was useless. Aizen reached down and grabbed him by the neck._

"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"_ Aizen screeched in Ichigo's face, shaking him._

_Ichigo couldn't breathe. His eyes started rolling back into his head, and he passed out. Before he completely lost consciousness he heard Aizen whisper;_

"_I'll make you pay for what you did to **my** little Masaki."_

_When he awoke he couldn't tell where he was, he was blindfolded. He could feel cold tile underneath his small body, and that was when he realized that he couldn't feel any clothing on himself. He tried to move to cover himself, but found that his hands were bound above his head. And that it really hurt to try to move his arms._

"So you're finally awake."

_Ichigo flinched away from the voice, terrified. He couldn't move or see, and he was stark naked. He felt tears prick at his eyes when he heard footsteps getting closer to him, cowering in fear when the were right in front of him. He felt a hand on his cheek, and he flinched away from it. A sudden slap across the face caused Ichigo to whimper in pain._

"Never move away from my touch!"

_The hand cupped his face once more, and Ichigo was shaking with unbridled fear. He felt the hand move to the back of his head, and the blindfold suddenly fell off of his face. He looked up, only to see his uncle Aizen crouched down in front of him. Although he looked slightly different than he had before, his hair was now slicked back one hair dangling in front of his face. His glasses were gone, and his __eyes held no sympathy for the young boy whatsoever._

_Ichigo could not speak, or more like he wouldn't speak. Too afraid of saying anything that might make Aizen hit him again, he swallowed a lump in his throat and continued to stare at his uncle. Aizen's eyes narrowed, and he suddenly shoved Ichigo by the head against a wall. Having done so with enough force to knock Ichigo out cold once more._

_When he awoke again hours later, he found he was no longer on the floor. But strapped to a metal table. His eyes darted all over what he could see of the room, it seemed to be the same as the room before. Tiles covered everything, just he hadn't know if there was this table before. He glanced to the side, and noticed a small table with various objects on them, he didn't know what they were, or why they were there. All he knew is that if they belonged to his uncle, they couldn't be anything good._

_Suddenly he heard footsteps, but they sounded as if they were all around him. So he couldn't tell exactly where they were coming from. They continued to get closer, as the sound of them got louder and louder. Ichigo was unable to hold back a small whimper. As soon as the sound escaped him, the footsteps stopped. Then the person began to laugh hysterically, and started towards him again. Ichigo's small body was shaking in absolute terror, as the footsteps got louder and louder. When the person stepped into the light, he was shocked to see that it was not his uncle._

**Okay, so I feel really bad for stopping it there. But I'll be continuing this as soon as possible. Also I'm really sorry for taking forever to update, I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter. **

**Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

Normal POV

Shinji just sat there in shock, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Your uncle was the one that kidnapped you?"

Ichigo just lowered his head.

"That's not even the worst part Shin..."

Shinji's eyes widened.

"W-what did he do to you?"

Ichigo sighed and continued his story.

_**(Continue Flashback)**_

_The person began to laugh hysterically, and started towards him again. Ichigo's small body was shaking in absolute terror, as the footsteps got louder and louder. When the person stepped into the light, he was shocked to see that it was not his uncle. He didn't know who this man was. He was a tall dark skinned man with long purple dreadlocks, he was wearing white sunglasses. Ichigo didn't know why the man was wearing sunglasses inside, considering the only light in the room was shining down on him._

_The russet skinned man reached out and cupped Ichigo's cheek, this action in turn caused Ichigo to visibly flinch. Although he did not turn his head away from the man's touch, he didn't want to be hit again. The man smiled at that fact the the cheek he held in his hand, stayed in his hand. He ran his hand down to Ichigo's collar bone, tracing the bone. The man continued to caress the young boy's torso, slowly going lower and lower._

"**Your skin is so smooth."**

_The man's voice was smooth. Not commanding, but powerful._

_Suddenly the man's fingertips lightly traced over Ichigo's '__private area'._

"**No!"** _Ichigo yelped._

_The man raised an eyebrow._

"**No? No what?"** _the man asked teasingly._

"**Don't touch there!"**_ Ichigo shouted._

_The man suddenly cupped Ichigo's groin and squeezed. Hard._

"**And why not?"**

_Ichigo couldn't reply, he was in too much pain._

_He didn't know why this man was doing this to him, and he wasn't sure if he really even wanted to know. All he did know was that he wasn't going to come out of any of this unscathed, and he was terrified._

The man continued to squeeze harder and harder, all the while he was smiling at the sounds of pain that were coming from the young boy. To take his mind away from the pain, Ichigo began to think about why this man was wearing sunglasses inside. More so because it was really dark everywhere, except the immediate area around Ichigo.

Suddenly the man let go of Ichigo an turned to bow at someone coming down the stairs, Ichigo couldn't see who it was but began trembling for some reason.

The reason became clear as his uncle Aizen walked into the light, someone trailing silently behind him. Aizen stood next to where Ichigo was laying, staring down at him with an uncharacteristic grin on his face.

**"I see you're finally awake Ichigo." **

The way he had said Ichigo's name made him want to cringe and turn away. but he knew if he did that he would be hit again, so he held it in.

Aizen reached a hand out , and placed it on Ichigo's forehead.

**"From today onward, you will be my little Misaki. Never again will you be called 'Ichigo'." **_Aizen whispered._

Ichigo's eyes widened, tears quickly forming in them. He was scared, so scared. And yet, he couldn't do anything.

**"That's right I should introduce you to my 'subordinates'. This is my third in command, Kaname Tousen."**_he motioned towards the dark skinned male._

**"And this is my second in command, Ichimaru Gin."**_ as he said that, a man with shiny silver hair and a face splitting grin walked out from behind Aizen._

_He reminded Ichigo of a fox, or maybe even a snake. None the less terrifying. Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut as he wished this would all just end, little did he know this wasn't even the beginning of his torture._

_Ichigo being shattered the very first time Aizen raped him._

_It had been rough, yet tender._

_Angry, yet loving._

_But, not one moment of had Ichigo enjoyed. He had felt nothing but pain, screaming for it to stop. He had just wanted it to be over, five years old and he wished for death to end it all._

_As days, and weeks passed. Ichigo slowly stopped speaking all together, he wouldn't even make any sounds as they 'played' with him. One thing he had noticed throughout all the time, was that this Gin person would never lay a single finger on him until Aizen and Tousen were gone. And that was only to see if he was okay, and treat his wounds. The more time passed, the more Ichigo was becoming more and more dead inside._

_A year had passed, his hair was becoming quite long. Seeing as Aizen saw it fit for him to have long hair, so he would look more like his mother Masaki. _

_He hated it._

_If you were to see him, all that you would see is a broken six year old boy, with eyes that held the more pain and suffering than you could ever imagine._

_Ichigo never really saw any light in his world anymore, not even on the rare occasion Aizen would take him outside. In fact he hated that too. Aizen would dress him in girls clothing, brush his hair until it was silky smooth, and put makeup on him so you couldn't see the bruises, and then take him to the park. Other children would try to ask 'her' to play, but 'she' would not answer. 'She' would just sit on the swing until Aizen took 'her' back 'home'._

_People would often ask Aizen why his daughter would never play with the other girls and boys, and he would always just say that 'she' was really shy. And give the other parents a smile that made all the women swoon, Ichigo thought it was disgusting. The way people swooned over him, trusted him, and conversed with him like he was a normal human being. But then again, to them he was perfectly normal. They didn't know they cruel and horrible things he did to Ichigo behind closed doors._

_Ichigo would never again see him as a human being, only a monster. A monster who stole him away from his family, and his friends._

_Another year had passed, but to Ichigo it had felt like an eternity. His body was littered with scars, fresh wounds, and bruises. Aizen had left Tousen to do as he wished with Ichigo. He would make it into a game, Ichigo would hide, and if Tousen found him he would cut Ichigo. Finally when Ichigo thought the game was over, Tousen forced himself on Ichigo. He raped the boy continuously, if Ichigo struggled at all he would be hit. And not just hit lightly, he would be punched with full force. Leaving the young 7 year old boy, beaten and bloody._

_It didn't help that when Tousen was done with him, Aizen came back and did as he pleased with Ichigo. It was amazing he was even still alive, with how much damage he took everyday. Not to mention how many times he had tried to take his own life, grabbing whatever sharp object he could find and stabbing himself in the chest with it. He wasn't strong enough to force whatever object he had found through his ribcage though, just leaving a large gash right in the center of his chest._

_When Aizen saw the would, he was livid. He chained Ichigo to the wall, and made an identical gash right in the center of Ichigo's back between his shoulder blades, right where the one on his chest was._

_Gin had actually stopped Ichigo a number of times, promising the young boy that he would get him out of that hell hole as soon as he had the chance._

_Soon enough, another year had passed. Ichigo's body had begun to deteriorate even more as of late, seeing as he refused to eat. He would drink water, but he couldn't even stand the sight of food anymore. It made him sick. Gin could practically hear what the boy was thinking; **"No more please. I just want to die, if I don't eat then I'll starve to death. It sounds like it would be painful, but anything is better than the life I have now."**_

_His eyes would well up with tears whenever he saw the boy, he had to suppress the urge to rip Aizen and Tousen limb from limb for what they did to him everyday. The poor kid just wanted a way for it all to end._

_When Aizen came 'home', he wasn't too pleased that Ichigo still wasn't eating. _

_Aizen was going to have to use slightly more extreme measures, to keep Ichigo alive. He strapped Ichigo to a metal table, so he wouldn't be able to move, and inserted an IV into Ichigo's thin arm. If he wouldn't eat, then he would keep him alive this way. No eating, no drinking. Nothing._

_Every other week or so, Aizen would give Ichigo a booster shot to give him a little more energy. But it was no use, Ichigo never responded. He gave up trying to end it, he gave up fighting. He gave up. He was a lifeless doll for Aizen to use as he pleased._

_Although one day, Aizen just didn't come back like he normally did. The days went by with no sign of him, or Tousen._

_Suddenly the doors burst open, lights flashing everywhere. Men in heavy SWAT armor rushed into the room, scanning it thoroughly. One of them flashed their light over Ichigo for a moment, and then back. The men rushed towards him, yet Ichigo made no attempt to move. He couldn't hear what they were saying, or really even see them very well. His vision was going dark, he lifted his hand out towards one of the men. Then passed out from blood loss, and lack of food and water. His IV had run out the other day, and no one had been around to refill it._

_Ichigo thought this as he fell; **"I'm finally free."**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN:: Okay so sorry for not uploading sooner, I've been kind of busy lately. And sick... ugh.<strong>

**So anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'd love to hear what you thought~**

**Review?**


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